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Crossroads at Midlife: Your Aging Parents, Your Emotions, and Your Self, by Frances Cohen Praver
Free Ebook Crossroads at Midlife: Your Aging Parents, Your Emotions, and Your Self, by Frances Cohen Praver
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With medical science, health care, and healthy lifestyles extending our lifespans as never before, more and more midlife adults are finding themselves caring for their aging parents. This role can trigger not only logistical and financial challenges, but also great emotional upheaval. There is a reversal of roles as the child―often in the midst of raising his or her own adolescent or young adult offspring―becomes the caretaker of the parent. A parent's aging and mortality elicits strong feelings of loss, and a stark realization of one's own aging and mortality. Past, present, and future paths converge, and the caretaker is at the center of that crossroads. Psychologist Praver―a specialist working with such caretakers―shows us their inner worlds, and how they used a difficult point in their lives to embark on a journey of self-understanding and self-transformation―a journey toward a more meaningful life for themselves.
Readers can gain a better understanding of their own lives― and know they are not alone in their struggles to contend with and find powerful benefits from the emotional side of caring for an aging parent. Distress can become peace of mind, as we see in the stories of men and women who sought Praver's help. Relationships that might be weakened by a caretaker role―relationships between caretakers and their children, spouses, and friends―can actually grow stronger with the experience. Profound issues affecting caretakers are shared in this evocative book, which is an enlightening and enjoyable read.
- Sales Rank: #559171 in Books
- Published on: 2008-07-30
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.25" h x .41" w x 6.12" l, .65 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 184 pages
From Booklist
Praver, a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst, draws on her own life experiences and those of her patients to deliver an informative and insightful look at midlife, when many people are challenged with caring for aging parents and children at a particularly vulnerable time in their own lives. She strongly advises self-assessment and transformation, "getting your own house in order," before focusing on the needs of parents and children. Too many of the stresses experienced by people in midlife have to do with unresolved issues in their own lives that are compounded by the demands of caring for others. Drawing on case studies, Praver illustrates the stresses on relationships that are exacerbated by the need to care for multiple generations. Praver examines the role reversals, guilt, anxiety, and fear experienced as parents age. The final chapter focuses on coping with the deaths of parents and fears about mortality. With her emphasis on midlife as a time for personal enlightenment and growth, Praver encourages readers to embrace this phase of their lives. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
Review
"Unlike most other books on caring for an aging parent, this one emphasizes the opportunities for middle-aged caregivers to grow and change as they negotiate the demands of aging parents and, often at the same time, those of the increasingly independent adolescent and young adult children. . . . [I]nsightful. Public libraries will want to purchase it for the many baby boomers now facing these problems and seeking guidance." - Library Journal
"[A]n informative and insightful look at midlife. . . . With her emphasis on midlife as a time for personal enlightenment and growth, Praver encourages readers to embrace this phase of their lives." - Booklist
"Crossroads at Midlife takes an honest unflinching look at the emotional upheaval that men and women confront at this critical juncture in their own lives . . . Dr.Frances Cohen Praver's inspirational message of embarking on a journey of exploration and self-transformation in order to create the remaining years with meaning is based on her personal experience. . . . Powerful emotions and inner conflicts evoked by aging parents leave caretakers feeling torn. . . . The author shares therapy tools to help readers take control of inner states so that they can empathize with parents and themselves. Then they can better provide care with kindness and compassion." - The Leader
Review
"Dr. Praver informatively presents complex ideas about our interactions with people, and particularly our aging parents, without compromising the integrity of the theoretical concepts. Her many case examples are lively, evocative and her writing style is suitable to both a lay and professional audience." (Roberta Jellinek, Ph.D., Psychoanalyst and Psychotherapist, private practice, New York City)
"Interacting with our aging parents, and/or with our children as their aging parents, has become a quite universal life passage, still largely unexplored in the psychological literature. Dr. Praver's book discusses it from the point of view of contemporary psychoanalysis,…it would be a valuable companion to anyone navigating through the difficulties of aging within significant intergenerational relationships." (Gladys Guarton, Faculty and Supervisor, Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies, Adelphi University)
"Dr. Praver delivers an informed and personal view of what psychology and psychiatry can offer…. Praver demystifies the process of psychotherapy and simplifies sychoanalysis, in a realistic unassuming manner for a lay public. Yet the same understandable chapters also deliver fertile, sophisticated insights for students and practicing clinicians in the field." (Julia A. Becker, M.D., Practicing Board Certified Psychiatrist, Long Island, New York)
"Many of us will have to care for our aging parents while contending with the reality that we too are growing old. In [this] insightful book, Dr. Praver describes our personal and spiritual enlightenment as we reverse caretaking roles with our parents." (Robert Reich, M.D., Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Mount Sinai School of Medicine, New York)
"Read this book and learn how to save your life by living with the knowledge that your time is limited. It will help you to find your chocolate ice cream and live out your life consuming it." (Bernie Siegel, M.D., author of Help Me to Heal and Prescriptions for the Soul)
"By using gripping case histories to provide invaluable insights, Dr. Cohen Praver encourages the reader to move beyond the crossroads of stress and heightened trauma-and use one's 'gift of time' to embrace the road that is positive and life-affirming." (Virginia F. Sendor, co-author of Hospice and Palliative Care: Questions and Answers)
"A highly sophisticated, insightful self-help book on how to deal with your aging parents and your aging self. It helps you to understand who you are." (Yehuda Nir, M.D., author of The Lost Childhood, and Associate Professor of Psychiatry, Cornell University Medical School)
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